Have you ever heard of Compassion Fatigue? It’s a thing especially in helping professions, where helping people with their problems so regularly causes the helper to become desensitized emotionally. They begin to find themselves struggling to summon up empathy or even sympathy for the people they are trying to help. It is often a sign of poor self-care, and an early warning of impending burnout. It is why social workers statistically average only 5 years on the job before changing careers. It is a big reason why many clergy leave their careers prematurely. And it can happen to anyone.
I bring this up because the pandemic has shone a light on how compassion fatigue operates on a broad scale. As we are only a month away from entering a third year of a pandemic-impacted world, we are seeing all around us the signs of compassion fatigue. Protests, disobedience, anger, division, impatience, estrangement – all these things are symptoms of people who have been asked to care about others, set their own needs beneath the needs of others for so long the elastic has finally stretched to the breaking point.
But the problem isn’t unique to the very short, painful interlude we are currently passing through. In a society that has social welfare as one of its foundational values, we are constantly bombarded with things we should care about: climate change, pollution, harassment, violence, sexual violence, poverty, inequity, pet neglect, bullying, children’s fitness, our own fitness, deforestation, GMOs; I could go on like this for several pages. Being assaulted by demands for compassion and support 24/7 with news cycles and social media is bound to lead us all to a place where the tender, caring part of our soul callouses over. The pleas for help fade into noise. Sad malnourished puppies cease to draw our eyes and our tears. We just stop caring and turn inwards.
What is the remedy to this? How do we maintain a soul with an ounce of sensitivity? I’ll suggest three things.
First, Self-Care. You have to be compassionate, first and always to yourself and your needs. Nobody can be completely selfless all the time. Yes, I know it is a little funny coming from a guy who follows the most selfless person ever to walk the Earth (though if you look at the Gospels you will see Jesus practiced self-care too), but I believe this is a Biblical principle as well. It is drawn from the belief that God made us with purpose and intent. We are here for a reason. It therefore follows that one of our primary duties is to maintain the equipment we have been given – physically, spiritually and emotionally. We can’t do what God is calling us to do if we allow ourselves to wear out or break down. Take time to reconnect with yourself, with your family, catch up with loved ones. Slow down for a time. Spend time connecting with nature, celebrating life and growth. This will look different for everyone.
Second, Accept Your Limitations. I don’t mean time, I already talked about it. If everything is a priority, nothing is. If you have a thousand dollars to support causes, but give a dollar to a thousand causes, who really gets helped? I want to say this clearly: you are not racist, sexist, or any other “ist” if your cause or object of care isn’t what others’ are. If you are a feminist, and that’s your cause of choice, that doesn’t automatically make you a racist by your neglect of that cause. If someone tries to convince you that their cause is more noble, more needy, more urgent than the one or ones you already invest in, you need to release that guilt. Nobody can do everything. You will make a difference, make the world a better place by investing yourself in just a few things than investing a little in a lot of things.
Third, Your Cause isn’t Everyone’s. It’s okay to think your causes are the most important. Because they are: to you. But it is also important to recognize your priorities and your values are not necessarily going to be everyone else’s. You naturally believe your passions are the best because they are yours. Just be careful that your zeal for righting the wrongs you have the most compassion for do not blind you to the need that others need to also address their passions. When we are all free to pursue what our consciences are calling us to, then change can happen and freedom is ensured. This is where the golden rule comes in again: work to ensure the freedom of others to pursue their priorities, because that same freedom is what you desire to pursue yours.
